Wednesday, October 31, 2007
i want i want i want
I like to think that I have rid myself of the selfish desires of materialism, but sometimes I catch a glimpse of the subtle forms this epidemic sin manifests itself in my life. I don't buy new clothes very often. I don't care much for having a nice car. I don't think having the newest and best computer or gadgetry is really all that necessary. I even try to limit myself on how much I spend and how often I buy books, my favorite thing to buy.
Recently, however, I have noticed in myself an unhealthy desire for stuff. Not just "stuff," but specifically a computer program (wow, it sounds silly to type it out). The Logos Bible Software "Gold Edition." The software package usually costs 1,300 something dollars, but my college offers a 40% discount which drops it to around 850 dollars. That is a huge discount, but it is still almost 1,000 dollars. I think the software is a worthwhile purchase and a good ministry tool. I hope to purchase it by the end of next semester. I'm not worried so much about the cost or justifying the purchase.
What scares me is not that this software is expensive or that I want it. What scares me is the ways in which I feel like I need it. I must have it. I want, I want, I want it! The discount is only available for a limited window of time so a few of my good friends made the big purchase. I should be excited for them. After talking it over with my wife, we decided now would probably not be a good time to buy the software. Unfortunately, I discovered in myself an unhealthy desire to have this software. It was bothering me that other people were able to have it, but was not. I even got indignant with my wife for "not letting me get it." After about a minute of pouting I realized, or maybe the Holy Spirit convicted me, of my sin. I let this desire for "stuff" wrap around my heart and choke out the work of the Holy Spirit. What do I need to interpret the Bible and faithfully proclaim it? Really cool Bible Software or the Holy Spirit of Yahweh in my life? What do I really want? Software or Faithfulness? What do you need more? What do you want more?
God forgive us for our unfaithfulness. Forgive us for the ways we have allowed the desires for material things so grip our hearts and decisions. Teach us to willingly submit to you. Teach us to get money out of our hearts and use it as a tool for furthering the kingdom. Gives us this day our daily bread and forgive us for hording our neighbors'.